素食女友：我的肉食男友

我猜，世界上應該有百分之九十的男生也不喜歡吃素。
或許應該這樣說，百分之九十的男生也不喜歡沒有肉食。

I guess, there should be over 90% of boys who do not prefer to be a Vegetarian.
Or I should put it in this way, 90% of them cannot stand for a meal without eating meat!

我身邊有些男性朋友，知道那一餐他們要吃素的話，是真的會憂鬱起來， 有些更開玩笑的說：「那我先吃肉，『打個底』來好了！」對於男生，只吃菜，肚子還是會相當空虛；一餐沒肉吃⋯⋯「我不飽啊！」

對於「男生真的比較難成為素食者嗎？」這個問題，我會稱之為，因為他們沒有女生的決斷和行動力（看我從肉食一下子轉為素食就知道我真有很強的行動力了）。男生與素食生活這個組合，是一件多麼讓人驚訝的事。

If my friends and I are going for a Vegetarian lunch or dinner that day, some of my male friends will be really, really "depressed". Some of them would even be joking and saying "Oh, then I should eat something meaty before having dinner with you!". For guys, it seems they strongly believe that they will end up with an empty stomach with a meatless meal. (Again, not all of them, but maybe 90%!)

"Are Boys truly harder to become a Vegetarian?" Well, the combination of "Boys" and "Vegetarian life" seems to be a mismatch.

如何經營一段「素與葷」的愛情
when a Vegetarian love a Omnivore
 

在愛情的路上，又怎樣？說真的，當時我轉為吃素，真的有為這個問題擔心過。到底將來的男朋友會不會因為每一餐也要和我吃素而不習慣，甚至不會喜歡上我呢？

Honestly, when I first changed my diet to be a Vegetarian, I was really worried about the issue. "Will my future boyfriend not be used to eating vegetarian food for every meal, or even feeling hard to hang out with me?

結果一：

當然是我有交上男朋友，交往也快三年了。

不過， 重點是， 你有沒有清楚了解自己／ 對方的想法？ 為甚麼你們會是肉食者和素食者？你們懂不懂得尊重對方的選擇？常言道，戀人的相處之道，是溝通、互相了解，並尊重對方。這並非只是有關把甚麼食物放進口的問題，而是有關生活上所有的事。試想想，假如你們一個喜歡音樂，另一個喜歡畫畫，你們會因此嫌棄對方嗎？假如你們一個喜歡放假在家看書，另一個則好動得非走出去戶外活動不可，你們會因為這樣而分開嗎？ 常常聽說一些戀人， 在拍拖甚至結婚後，說大家性格不合，對方並不是自己想要的類型⋯⋯那我想問一下，在決定一起之前，其實有充分的了解自己及對方嗎？還是只是一時興起與衝動，最後分手就是因為了解呢？


Conclusion 1:

I have a boyfriend, and we have been staying together for 3 years.

I think, what is crucial in a relationship, is that do you understand your thinking, or his/her thinking? What makes you become a vegetarian or a meat-eater? Do you know how to respect each other while acknowledging these differences between you two? 

We have always heard that, the way we get along with each other, especially in a romantic relationship, is to communicate, to understand, and to respect each other. This is not just about what you put in your mouth, but is about everything in life.  Just think about it - if one of you likes music and the other likes to paint, would you dislike the other person despite the difference? If one of you likes to stay indoor to rest in the weekend, but the other one wants to head out for outdoor activities, are you guys going to break up simply because of this issue? I have always hearing similar things from my friends. Some people, after dating or even getting married, they start to think their partner is not the type of lover that they really want... Then I have to ask, before you starting a relationship, do you have a good understanding of yourself and him/her? Or is it just a rapid feeling and impulse, and finally breaking up because of understanding each other?

結果二：

他是肉食者，但也會跟我吃素。

我男朋友是肉食者，但對吃素沒有抗拒，也喜歡跟我食素，所以約會的初期，他也會主動建議吃素（男生初初都是這樣哄女生的吧），我們的約會也因為一邊去嘗試不同素食餐廳而感覺很有趣。接著， 我也提議可以去一些葷素搭配的餐廳。我們兩個也極喜歡吃上海菜， 他喜歡小籠包、獅子頭等； 我則喜歡冷盤， 例如香菜百頁卷、手拍青瓜、素餃子（大愛！）等，所以我們去上海菜餐館就各點各的餐點；後來我心愛的米線店推出了素湯頭，那裡也成了我倆的飯堂。

那次在巴黎的最後一個晚上，我倆也想試試在街頭的餐廳吃法國菜，他吃他的蛤蜊和勃根地牛肉，我吃我的烤雜菜和薯條—雖然是配菜但也煮得很用心，提提餐廳別用牛油，他們大多會轉用橄欖油代替。美食配上白酒，我倆度過了一個非常浪漫又難忘的晚上。現在我們每到一個新的城市旅行，也會特地找一些有名的素食餐廳，訂好桌子一起吃飯。

Conclusion 2:

He is a meat-eater. But he will have vegetarian meal with me.

My boyfriend is a meat-eater, but he also like to eat all kind of vegetarian food. When we first start dating, he would always suggest to go vegetarian restaurants(Yes, he was, and "has been" so sweet and considerate.), and we always find it interesting trying out different new places. We would also go to some restaurants which offer meat and veggie options, like our favourite Shanghainese cuisine. He always order steamed pork dumplings and braised pork ball, and my favourite are appetizers like coriander vegetables roll, sour cucumber and vegetarian dumplings. Sometimes we also love to go to noodles bar, as they also serve vegetables broth now for noodles too!

One time, the last night during our trip to Paris, we wanted to try eating in local French restaurant on street (like a Parisian!). Some people might think it is impossible for a vegetarian to eat in normal French restaurant; but the key is just to get creative and make smart choices! This is what happened: he had his clams and burgundy beef while I had my grilled vegetables and french fries (although they were side dishes, they are still so delicious). For vegan, just to remember to remind the waiter, most of them would be happy to switch butter to olive oil instead for you. With great food & wine, we had a very romantic and unforgettable evening in Paris. And even now it has became our practice - everytime we travelling to a new city, we would find some famous vegetarian restaurants and try together.

結果三：

葷或素，也不降低戀人分數！

我沒有強迫男友要跟我吃素， 我也沒有嫌棄或是討厭他吃肉。正如一開始所說， 關係裡的所有細節， 不強迫、沒嫌棄，說到底，還是要了解、要尊重，愛情才是你跟對方的連結啊。當然，我還是希望他多吃蔬果，而我也很欣賞他喜歡吃素的心，每一次他陪我去吃素，我也心存感激。

想喜歡的人偶爾跟你吃得健康一點？其實自己下廚也是不錯的選擇。當你「辛辛苦苦」地煮得一手好菜，我相信你的他/她也會欣賞這份心意吧！我們大多會做一道素食主菜，例如冬蔭公雜菜煲；假如男朋友那天想吃一點肉，他會再自己烤三文魚或烤雞柳，然後我們就可以開開心心吃飯了。

Conclusion 3:
It really doesn't matter when you love each other!

I have never forced my boyfriend to be a vegetarian, or having any negative feelings when he eats meat. Just like what I have said, don't judge, open up and try to understand each other. To respect, is always the key to a relationship. Of course, I would still hope that he will eat more fruits and vegetables, and I am always grateful every time he eats vegetarian food with me.

If your partner is a dedicated meat-eater, but you want him to be healthier once in a while, why don't you consider to cook for him/her? A meatless dinner can be plenty satisfying - we love to make Thai style Tom-yum vegetables pot as main(full of different colours and nutritients); sometime when my boyfriend wants to eat some meat, he would prepare fried salmon/ chicken. To prepare a tasty and healthy meal is more easy than you think!Why not give it a go once in awhile?

只要用心經營，一段素與葷、相互尊重的關係其實很有趣。

各位素食男女，不用擔心啦！

As long as you love each other, and with mutual understanding and respect, a relationship between a vegetarian and a omnivore could be very interesting indeed.

Don't worry! :)

Love,

Charlotte

這篇文章收錄於《素系風格——素食與簡約生活練習》一書中，CHARLOTTE與天窗出版社合作出版的書藉；於2018年夏天六月上架，現於香港及台灣各大書局有售。

按此看更多資料：《素系風格——素食與簡約生活練習》

This article is included in 《LifeStyle In White》, a book published by Charlotte In White and Enrich Publishing. It is now available at all major bookstores in Hong Kong and Taiwan.

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Portrait of Charlotte & Kajeng by Ocean Wong.